I don’t consider myself a difficult chap to get along with, I’m friendly enough to most people (except you, you know who you are and why, lets just leave it though). Each to their own and that, but there’s some things that, whilst not directly affecting my person, still enter into my world and bother me. One of these things is the increasing inability of the modern trouser to meet basic requirements.

I’m not what you call fashion forward, a chap just needs to be comfortable, and a baggy pair of jeans or whatever can do the job proper. Thing is, last time I checked, one of the things trousers/jeans used to do was cover your arse, but this no longer seems to be a requirement. Thing is, if they’re not covering your arse, what are they doing? Badly fitting leg warmers? Something to loop your bloody day bloody glo belt through? And the belt – what is that? its supposed to keep them trousers UP… UP OVER YOUR ARSE. I don’t need to see your minging M&S boxer shorts on display that your mum bought you. And if that whole look has really properly helped you pull and you can prove it, I’ll buy you a pint, but I reckon my money is safe. And even if you can prove it and it has meant you have pulled the girl of your dreams/got a shag, you can bugger off if you think I’m buying you a pint – YOU LOOK LIKE A TWAT.

Still, its me being old I suppose – I got told this is a fashion based on the idea of acknowledging all them fellas you know who are currently incarcerated or something, maybe on death row and that. I didn’t realise there was so much of this about.