I finally went to see Iron Man 3 last week (which was RAD & should be seen by all). One of my favourite images was of the large variety of suits Tony Stark had built during some sleepless nights. Inevitably though, it sparked post-cinema pub debate.

So now I put it to the web: if you could make an Iron Man suit that did anything, what would it do?

We’ve seen different versions throughout the Marvel universe both on screen & on the page since the character first appeared back in 1963, from the original grey & gold suits through to the stealth suit, War Machine, Hulkbuster armour & Prometheus armour. As the conversation went on, I realised that the suits that had been created (and doubtless will continue to be created) by the geniuses at Marvel were at a level I could never hope to achieve in my mind.

They would also be almost entirely useless to me.  Having ablative armour that will protect me against parasitic alien life-forms would be cool, but ultimately not something I’m likely to need more than once in this lifetime. So what if we went the other way: the more mundane the suit the better.  Skyscraper Window Cleaner suit would be practical & fun, whilst Disco Iron Man would take club nights by storm.

So here are the first few ideas we had. Let us know what suit you’d build.

Disco Suit

  • Mirror ball head
  • Disco lights throughout body
  • Extra smooth joints for extra smooth moves
  • Speakers throughout suit
  • Fishbowl shoes

Beach Buddy Suit

  • Sunscreen dispensers & applicators
  • Biodegradable parasols
  • Dispensable water aids
  • Personal floatation device
  • Bucket head (multiple layers)
  • Spade arms (multiple loads; can also be used as projectiles)
  • Towel dispenser
  • Shower/hose/hairdryer arms

Babysitter Suit

  • Instant bottle maker/warmer
  • Nappy changing device
  • Nappy disposal unit
  • Extra soft arms to rock babies to sleep
  • Complete with pre-programmed lullabies & bedtime stories (with character voices)

Skyscraper Window Cleaner Suit

  • Controlled flight using feet only
  • Water jets
  • Cleaning solution jets
  • Buff & shine hand pads

Desert Survival Suit

  • Tan camouflage
  • Heat resistant
  • Converts sweat into drinkable water
  • Solar panels

Mr Whippy Suit

  • Ice cream jets
  • Flake dispenser (also work as projectiles)
  • Sauce jets
  • Sprinkles shots
  • Pre-programmed with traditional chimes

Recycling Suit

  • Auto-splits recycling
  • “Digests” materials & reduces to core elements
  • Releases gases into reusable canisters (fuel)
  • Ejects pellets to be built into new items